WEBVTT 00:00:02,716 --> 00:00:05,868 Teacher: Hey, let’s talk through what happened earlier. Can we start with your reflection? 00:00:05,868 --> 00:00:06,935 Nora: OK. 00:00:06,935 --> 00:00:13,415 Teacher: Great! I see that you were frustrated by having to wait to do your math work. It was hard to hear other students ask questions 00:00:13,415 --> 00:00:17,849 that you already knew the answers to? I can totally understand that, but what did you do? 00:00:17,849 --> 00:00:21,332 Nora: I talked out. Then I yelled and I knocked over my chair. 00:00:21,332 --> 00:00:25,147 Teacher: I saw that too. How did that work out? How do you feel about the result? 00:00:25,147 --> 00:00:27,725 Nora: I feel embarrassed, and I wish I hadn’t done it. 00:00:27,725 --> 00:00:32,035 Teacher: I know. What do you think about what you could do the next time? Give me some ideas, I can help you. 00:00:32,035 --> 00:00:34,127 Nora: Maybe I could ask to work ahead? 00:00:34,127 --> 00:00:39,994 Teacher: Nice. That’s a super idea. How about I find some challenging activities for you to keep at your desk just for times like this? 00:00:39,994 --> 00:00:41,101 Nora: OK. 00:00:41,101 --> 00:00:44,795 Teacher: Also remember you always have the option to go to the peace corner and use the activities over there. 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,350 Nora: OK. 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:51,57 Teacher: Great. Now, here’s the thing: whenever a student shows any unsafe behavior in the classroom the teacher needs to call home 00:00:51,57 --> 00:00:57,354 and write an office referral. OK, I just want to make sure you’re aware of that so it’s not a surprise. You have any questions about that? 00:00:57,354 --> 00:00:59,325 Nora: No. I get it. 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:05,884 Teacher: Great! Before we move on, is there anything else you need or want me to know? Anything thing else that I could help make you 00:01:05,884 --> 00:01:07,405 wait better the next time? 00:01:07,405 --> 00:01:11,588 Nora: I don’t know. I’m always waiting for adults to help other kids so they can help me. 00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:13,398 Teacher: That’s right. You have a baby sister. 00:01:13,398 --> 00:01:15,456 Nora: Yeah. She gets all the attention. 00:01:15,456 --> 00:01:19,512 Teacher: I’m sorry to hear that. That must be pretty hard. If you ever want to talk about that we totally can. 00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,320 Nora: OK. 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,756 Teacher: How are you feeling now? 00:01:22,756 --> 00:01:25,996 Nora: I feel a little bit embarrassed, but I’m feeling a lot better. 00:01:25,996 --> 00:01:29,977 Teacher: That’s totally understandable. I’m glad you’re feeling better, and I just want you to know, I’m very glad to have you in 00:01:29,977 --> 00:01:31,459 my class. 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:32,058 Nora: Thank you. 00:01:33,105 --> 00:01:37,015 [ Begin Johanna Staubitz commentary ] 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:45,384 Mr. Santini is leading a debriefing conversation with Nora, and the first step of this conversation is to look at the form and kind 00:01:45,384 --> 00:01:55,964 of come to an agreement on what happened. And you know Mr. Santini uses language like “I see that you felt this way”; “I saw that, 00:01:55,964 --> 00:02:04,288 too.” He kind of validates the experience of the student to the extent that you can and asks her some questions about what she needed, 00:02:04,288 --> 00:02:12,569 why it happened, and whether it actually solved the problem. And this really helps a student to develop the ability to self-reflect 00:02:12,569 --> 00:02:24,453 and also, in the future, to notice when they are beginning to escalate, to observe those signs in themselves. And this facilitates them 00:02:24,453 --> 00:02:27,618 seeking solutions in the future. 00:02:27,618 --> 00:02:36,573 Mr. Santini and Nora now continue this conversation. They spent the first part discussing what happened to help develop Nora’s ability 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:43,685 to detect when she needs a change in her environment. So she needs to know what her triggers are, just like Mr. Santini does. That 00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:50,244 conversation’s helpful for both of them. But now what they need to build on that is an idea of what to do once one or both of them 00:02:50,244 --> 00:02:59,269 detects that there is a need for a change. So they work together to identify some strategies and Nora is able, right out of the gate, 00:02:59,269 --> 00:03:05,805 to say, to make a suggestion that’s a pretty good one. Which is well, maybe I can ask to move on. So much like asking for help, 00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:13,357 right, but matched to her triggering scenario: having to wait. And Mr. Santini reinforces her engagement with this conversation by 00:03:13,357 --> 00:03:21,840 saying, “That’s a great idea,” and then builds on it by suggesting that he, you know, takes an active role, and compiles, you know, 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:29,029 a set of activities that he can have on him to give her in a situation like that. In addition, he says, you know, alternatively, you can 00:03:29,029 --> 00:03:36,984 always go take a break in the Peace Corner. And this is a really good idea. It’s beneficial to have that break available not only 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:44,123 for Nora but for other students in the classroom. And again, it’s just important that if you’re going to use something like a break 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:53,355 area or Peace Corner, that you have explicitly taught procedures for entering and sitting and using it to the class. 00:03:53,355 --> 00:04:02,748 This conversation is a tricky one, and it can be very tempting to put this off for later or maybe to not even talk with the student 00:04:02,748 --> 00:04:11,152 about it and just enact the consequence. But Mr. Santini goes ahead and lets Nora know what has to happen according to school or classroom 00:04:11,152 --> 00:04:20,372 policies in response to her severe challenging behavior and kicking the desk, knocking things over. That stuff was dangerous to Nora 00:04:20,372 --> 00:04:28,302 and to other students. But he does it compassionately, and I like his language here of like “Here’s the thing,” so he’s kind of preparing 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:36,112 her for bad news but still ending on a positive note and one in which he’s kind of checking in, like “Does that make sense to you?” 00:04:36,112 --> 00:04:43,334 And Nora says, “Yes,” and if she has questions, she can ask them. But what’s important is that he’s kind of polite but firm about 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:50,977 these consequences. I will also add that it can be really tempting to use this part of the conversation, if you’re not one of those 00:04:50,977 --> 00:04:56,844 teachers who wants to avoid this conversation, you might be one of those teachers who’s tempted to kind of guilt and shame in an 00:04:56,844 --> 00:05:04,801 effort to prevent the student from doing this again. And I would just caution you to remind yourself to be polite but firm. Those 00:05:04,801 --> 00:05:10,052 consequences will speak for themselves. 00:05:10,052 --> 00:05:19,726 So in this final segment of the debrief conversation, Mr. Santini, you know, addresses a lot of different things. One is discussing 00:05:19,726 --> 00:05:23,789 other issues or non-school-based issues like, “Hey.” 00:05:23,789 --> 00:05:30,679 You know sort of an acknowledgment of like this isn’t necessarily how you normally react, even when your peers ask a lot of questions. 00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:36,556 Like, “Are there other things going on I should know about?” So this is an opportunity not only to learn about non-school-based 00:05:36,556 --> 00:05:43,543 triggers but also to repair and build a relationship and communicate that you care about what’s going on with the student outside of 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:51,823 school. So outside of school. So this part of the conversation serves multiple purposes in that sense. In addition, Mr. Santini really 00:05:51,823 --> 00:05:55,651 explicitly offers support for the student. 00:05:55,651 --> 00:06:02,450 By saying, “Hey, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here,” and also communicates support by asking, checking in on how she’s 00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:11,248 feeling. “How are you doing now? Oh, I can understand that you’re feeling that way, a little embarrassed,” and ends by affirming Nora 00:06:11,248 --> 00:06:19,606 and her role in the classroom and her belonging in the classroom. Students need to feel that sense of belonging to really thrive. 00:06:19,606 --> 00:06:26,085 So I think that’s a really nice place for Mr. Santini to end, and it’s not always easy to do that. 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:34,898 It’s really reasonable for a teacher at even at this point during Recovery, you know, maybe you haven’t had enough time to recover, 00:06:34,898 --> 00:06:41,580 and the student has. And if it’s at all possible to delay this conversation until you both have, even better. But sometimes we have to kind 00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:51,190 of just dig deep and find that empathy, even though we’re very reasonably stressed out by what happened earlier. But this really is a situation 00:06:51,190 --> 00:07:01,429 where if we can kind of rise above our own emotions and have this supportive conversation that is clear but helps repair the relationship. 00:07:01,429 --> 00:07:08,134 It just has that longer-term payoff, even though it can be hard in the short term, and sometimes it isn’t hard in the short term. 00:07:08,134 --> 00:07:10,680 It does just feel good to make up.